It’s Amazing

Post Reply
Karla
Posts: 12
Joined: Wed Jul 31, 2019 10:10 am

It’s Amazing

Post by Karla » Wed Oct 23, 2019 3:11 pm

I kept the right ones out
And let the wrong ones in
Had an angel of mercy
To see me through all my sins
There were times in my life
When I was goin' insane
Tryin' walk through the pain
And when I lost my grip
And I hit the floor
Yeah, I thought I could leave
But couldn't get out the door
I was so sick n' tired
Of livin' a lie
I was wishing that I would die

It's amazing
With the blink of an eye
You finally see the light
Oh it's amazing
When the moment arrives
You know you'll be alright
Yeah it's amazing
And I'm saying a prayer
For the desperate hearts tonight

That one last shot's a permanent vacation
And a how high can you fly with broken wings
Life's a journey - not a destination
And I just can't tell just what tomorrow brings

You have to learn to crawl
Before you learn to walk
But I just couldn't listen
To all that righteous talk oh yeah
I was out on the street
Just tryin' to survive
Scratchin' to stay alive

It's amazing
With the blink of an eye
You finally see the light
Oh it's amazing
When the moment arrives
That you know you'll be alright
Oh it's amazing
And I'm saying a prayer
For the desperate hearts tonight





Aerosmith brings me back to 7th grade. Their comeback album, "Permanent Vacation", had been released, and I fell in love with the band. I purchased every vinyl record of theirs I could find, even nabbing some in Germany during college and bringing them back to the States with me to add to my collection.

That said, I believe I know the words to most of their songs by heart, yet had never comprehended the true meaning of the song above titled "It's Amazing". While cleaning my house yesterday with my iPod on shuffle, this song came on. I was belting out all of the words at the top of my lungs, much to the chagrin of my husband who is not a huge fan of the band. I stopped mid song with my mouth wide open in awe of the powerful words that I was just singing. I suppose it could be viewed a number of ways. But for me, now, this song is totally and completely about addiction.

Let's break it down, shall we? The first line about keeping the right ones out and the wrong ones in - exactly. I started pushing away people who really loved me because they would try to get in between me and my booze, and I wouldn't have it. So, the ones I did allow in were not necessarily good for me. But the biggest "wrong one" that I allowed up until I nearly died, was alcohol. Vodka. That, my friends, was a seriously wrong one to keep in.

The next line is about an angel of mercy who saw me through all my sins. Yes. For me, God was always there though I was hiding from Him. But, I also was blessed to have a real live human guardian angel also. As I was about to attempt to take my own life, while looking up potent mixtures of pills that I had in my hands that would do the job, a pop up came on my laptop screen. It was a rehab broker. His name was Phil, and he asked if I needed help. Did I ever.

Although I never knew Phil's last name, nor did I write down where he worked, he began the process of saving my life. As the song says, I was so sick and tired of living a lie and I did totally and truly want to die, because my pain in this world was simply too great. Some may say my pain was self inflicted, and to an extent, that is true. I chose to drink when I was 12. I chose to drink more as I got older. I chose drinking to self soothe my fears, anxieties, to celebrate or to mourn, to relieve myself if I felt too busy, to occupy myself if I felt too bored. It was my constant and true companion. I did not want to give it up. But, I finally did see the light, in the nick of time, and it has truly been "Amazing".

I could pick apart and personalize every single line in this song, but I won't because you get the idea and my intention is not to waste your time. This song resonates with me, on a deep level. And, I do say a prayer every night for the desperate hearts - for the alcoholic and addict still suffering. Because I know how hard it is to give up something that has been your crutch for decades. I know how the brain gets hijacked so that there comes a point at which the substance use is truly no longer optional for the addicted brain - it is an obsession. And, I know how the body gets hijacked and dependent upon the substance, so that even when one knows that it is not good for them, the body screaming for more of the very substance that is killing it becomes too great to bear. Then you use or drink, then you feel guilt and shame, then the vicious cycle repeats. It is an absolutely horrible and terrifying experience and I don't wish it upon anyone.

And it is amazing that I know that I will be alright. I HAVE seen the light.

Are you ready?

As always, I invite dialogue and comments.

Karla

Post Reply